Best headline of the day

If you fol­low base­ball, you’ll get this.  Today, I saw a head­line that read:

Rogers holds Cards

There are a lot of Gam­bler-relat­ed card play­ing puns float­ing around today, but I felt this one was the most suc­cinct. You know it’s been sit­ting in some sports­writer’s draw­er for a long time.

Labels written by childless drones

So I’m get­ting laun­dry ready, sort­ing it into piles, and I still look at the care labels on a lot of things. On my three-year old’s shirt, the label says:

Machine wash cold inside out

Whose three-year old gets the inside of his shirt dirt­i­er than the out­side? I mean, I know it’s to pro­tect the dec­o­ra­tion on the front, but real­ly, it’s the dec­o­ra­tion on the front that has choco­late, peanut but­ter, and jel­ly on it.