Try spelling mayonnaise five times fast.

Tonight, we had a scrumptious meal from Tiffany’s childhood. It started with a hankering for soup. Ham and beans, to be precise. Then she added canned pears with mayonnaise and shredded cheddar on iceberg lettuce, from last Christmas. And finally, our standard cornbread recipe from the Moosewood Cookbook.

We had cornbread fixin’s (well, we had to make sour milk to use instead of buttermilk) and mayonnaise, but nothing else, so I was dispatched to the store for provisions. At the store I bought iceberg lettuce (the smallest, cheapest, whitest ball of lettuce I could find. Then I bought the most expensive can of pear halves on the shelf, the ones marked “Lite” and packed in grape juice concentrate, instead of in heavy syrup. Finally, I bought two cans of Campbell’s Classic Bean and Bacon condensed soup.

It was simply delicious. The soup may have been a little salty, but Aidan requested two more helpings (and he’s getting it for lunch tomorrow, watch out bowels!), and the pears were great. Easy to make and hard to beat.