[This post was drafted last summer. But unlike a bunch of others I just tossed, is still sort of interesting. Caveat lector.]

So, we were watching A Capital Fourth on PBS, and while we could stomach Tony Danza, Elliott Yamin was so awful we actually looked to see what TiVo had recorded for us on its own. Turns out, it had a movie for each of us.

The wife had seen Last of the Mohicans once before, and she had fond memories of a sweaty Daniel Day-Lewis running bare-chested through the woods. Even on AMC, riddled with commercials, and with the sound cutting in and out of stereo, I have to admit those particular scenes were well remembered. I had never seen it before, so while I did surf the Internet while we watched, I did also watch, and it was pretty good.

My choice for the evening was Escape from New York, at which point my wife promptly announced she was going to bed.

Now this is a classic movie. I mean, Ernest Borgnine and Isaac Hayes! And Donald Pleasence! Man. But as I was watching it, I couldn’t help but think that it could do with a remake. Yeah, the early eighties camp is fun (I especially like the Logan’s Run-style computers with strobe lights) but there’s a lot that could be improved with a bigger budget. Better effects, a better ruined city (would they dare keep the World Trade Center from the original movie?), better cars… but what, I wondered, would they do for a cast. Ernest Borgnine is ninety years old, Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist, and Donald Pleasence is twelve years dead. And besides, how would they replace Kurt Russell? Surely he’s too old to do it again? (Harrison Ford notwithstanding.)

A little sleuthing and I discovered that, of course, there is a plan to remake Escape from New York (bite me IMDB), possibly with Gerard Butler in the lead role (despite what you may have heard). I’m sure he’d be fine, but as I watched the movie tonight, it seemed to me that Kurt Russell was channeling Sawyer from Lost for his portrayal of Snake Plissken.

So, to John Carpenter, who is producing this remake, I beg of you, dispose of your pretty-boy Scot and get Josh Holloway to do it. He was born to the role.