What the people want: gassy dogs, speakers, and snowflake charities

My stats pack­age for this site keeps track of what search terms peo­ple have used to find this site. So far, noth­ing scur­rilous has crossed my shores, but three old posts have been dredged up by vis­i­tors.

  1. Some­one from Israel searched for “novo loud­speak­ers” and came up with my post on the sec­ond time I was approached in the street by some­one want­i­ng to unload some hot speak­ers: “Hey bud­dy, wan­na buy some speak­ers?”
  2. Anoth­er per­son was look­ing for “robertss­now” and found my post on Robert’s Snowflake, a cool lit­tle char­i­ty that sells unique snowflake orna­ments by illus­tra­tors.
  3. Final­ly, some­one was search­ing for “gassi­est dog” and found a post from 2004 about a com­pa­ny (now defunct) sell­ing a dog gas pre­ven­tion prod­uct. They had a sur­vey-pro­duced list of the ten gassi­est dog breeds, and poo­dles were sixth on the list.

I just thought you’d like to know.

No. 6 on the list of gassiest dogs

I was torn between post­ing this here or on my (some­what san­i­tized) fam­i­ly web site, Mason being a mem­ber of the fam­i­ly and all. But I decid­ed here.

A com­pa­ny is mak­ing a prod­uct to “stop pet gas before it starts.” ((The com­pa­ny was called Cur­Tail, but it appears that they have gone out of busi­ness since this was orig­i­nal­ly post­ed in 2004.)) They go on to add, “At last an end to those dread­ful moments in your liv­ing room when peo­ple don’t know whether to look at the dog or at each oth­er.”

We have no such prob­lem. Mason’s farts smell like broc­coli. When any of the rest of us fart (or poop, in my infant son’s case) it doesn’t smell remote­ly like broc­coli. Just the oth­er night, Mason was nes­tled up to Tiffany on the couch, each qui­et­ly mind­ing their own busi­ness, when Tiffany start­ed to gag. The fart­ing last­ed a good half hour, and by the end you might have been able to see a green broc­coli cloud hang­ing over the couch. It real­ly can be quite awful.

Well, now, this com­pa­ny has released a sur­vey of pet own­ers, a sur­vey of which dog breeds are the gassi­est. Poo­dles (of any size, appar­ent­ly) rank sixth. To which I can only say, glad I don’t own a Ger­man Shep­herd.

Here’s the list:

  1. Ger­man Shep­herd
  2. Mutt
  3. Labrador Retriev­er
  4. Box­er
  5. Dober­man Pin­sch­er
  6. Poo­dle
  7. Cock­er Spaniel
  8. Rot­tweil­er
  9. Bea­gle
  10. Dal­ma­tion