The intricacies of Crystal Light

Crystal Light bit

As a result of the South Beach diet we’re not real­ly on, I have been drink­ing a lot of Crys­tal Light late­ly (yay, Aspar­tame!).  I flirt­ed with Crys­tal Light a num­ber of years ago, most­ly with the “Nat­ur­al Lemon­ade” fla­vor (which is far from nat­ur­al, but pleas­ant­ly sour and cloy­ing­ly sweet, btw), but we’re drink­ing the whole Kool-Aid, as it were, this time.  There are a num­ber of Crys­tal Light fla­vors avail­able, as well as the pseu­do-healthy vitamins/energy/herbal tropes that seem to be squeez­ing water off the $2.00-a-bottle shelf.  So we’ve been doing this for about four or five months now, and a thing I noticed right at the begin­ning has only now crys­tal­ized (if you’ll allow me that pun) in my mind.

While each indi­vid­ual Crys­tal Light pack­age is the same size (a lit­tle foil­ish tube) they are filled with dif­fer­ent amounts of pow­der for dif­fer­ent fla­vors.  That is, I would have expect­ed a fake fla­vor­ing change to involve just chang­ing the “fla­vor crys­tals,” but it appears that they have to change oth­er stuff, too, enough that the Blue­ber­ry White Tea tubes are packed to the gills, and the White Grape seems to have just a puff of dust in it.

There are intri­ca­cies to the mak­ing of Crys­tal Light that I had not pre­vi­ous­ly sus­pect­ed.

To wit, from the box­en:

Fla­vor oz. per pack­et
Nat­ur­al Lemon­ade Fla­vor 0.14
Nat­ur­al Blue­ber­ry Fla­vor White Tea 0.12
Berry Splash Arti­fi­cial Fla­vor Hydra­tion 0.09
Peach Iced Tea Arti­fi­cial Fla­vor 0.07
White Grape Arti­fi­cial Fla­vor 0.05

So, the Nat­ur­al Lemon­ade has almost three times the pow­der of the White Grape.  I leave it to you to rumi­nate on the impli­ca­tions of this for world peace, par­ty uni­ty, and/or the future of the pack­ag­ing indus­try.

Speak­ing of the pack­ag­ing indus­try.