Danny Novo
We’re moving to a nice golf course down the road. Just spent the morning pulling a deer tick off my wife, then checking all the boys for ticks, too. This a few days after finding a fully engorged dog tick happily snoozing on the carpet in our upstairs hallway. Really wish two of our neighbors would take better care of their yards. Heck, the back yard to the West is getting so overgrown we’re about to lose sight of their bird bath.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it!
*shudder* Yikes!
Tics are serious. They spread disease. I was told the proper way to remove them is with lotion–to drown the little critters so they remove their head from your body.
Agreed! An acquaintance in high school had a tic that was so severe, he actually threw out his neck one time!
I had a teacher once with an outrageous full body tick. It was impossible to take him seriously. He’d be lecturing the class, perfectly normal one second, and then without warning — SPLEECH! — he’d strike a pose so comical, so completely improbable, that even after several months I never completely believed he wasn’t just putting us on.
I mean literally from normal to this (and I am not exaggerating):
http://www.kinderblick.net/Cartoons/Don_Martin/DonMartinMonaLisa.jpg
And he’d hold the pose, his body completely frozen like that, for several seconds. If you were lucky he wouldn’t be looking directly at you when it happened, because there was nothing worse than having his goOgly freak eyes fixed on yours when the tick kicked in. Nothing. Cause it was impossible to look away, you see. You had to just stare back, expressing no emotion, not daring to smirk or crack a smile for the two, maybe three seconds of that dreadful eternity while every one else in class collectively gasped and quietly thanked The Lord Who Afflicted Him So Cruelly that they were, this time, spared the humiliation.
Mark, dear cousin, you have the weirdest life.
I had a teacher once that ate tooth paste to help his asthma He was a coach so we were out on the field playing football and stuff and he would be barking out commands and eating his tooth paste. Is that weird?
I had a math teacher that said “hum” every second sentence. You could barely understand him. It was like another language he was speaking.
I know. My life is pretty strange. And I’ve had some wacky, fringe-dwelling teachers who no doubt had an influence on me. Never had a ravenous asthma-afflicted toothpaste-eater, though. I almost feel left out. And suddenly I have to wonder: what’s a guy with asthma doing being a football coach?
My high school dean was a gentleman named Mr Bennet. Nice enough guy, but his head was perpetually kinked to one side, like he’d thrown it out in his youth and never fully recovered, and it was spooky because the angle of his head seemed to influence the way he walked so that he never quite moved in a straight line, but always drifted a little like a car with its wheels out of alignment. We called him Mr Bentneck, of course.
I remember from my elementary school library a children’s magazine called Highlights for Children that used to feature art submissions from children around the country. There was this one particularly awful yet hilarious drawing in one issue which, years later, I thought of immediately the first time I saw Mr Bennet making his steady, if slightly parabolic, way across the campus quad.…