I don’t watch the local news on television. I don’t know many people who do. If I happen to flip to local news, I might watch if the weather is on, but I will never go find it. Why is that? Because one day in winter I saw a news story so dumb, so asinine, that it forever turned me off of local news.

It began with promos appearing during commercial breaks in a show I was watching. (This was before TiVo.) “Hidden danger on the roads!” it said. “Breaking news you need to know first before you drive!” they cried. After several drubbings of this I actually thought maybe I’d stick around and watch, to see if I had anything to be concerned about. Maybe it was serious, a toxic tanker had spilled its load. Maybe it was tangential, invading Japanese weeds were choking out native plants along the highway. Maybe it was topical, massive potholes along the route to work.

So I stayed.

And the news started. And they built it up, and up, and up, and they went to their man on the street, and he turned to a typical car, just like one that could be owned by you or me, and he crouched down and the camera zoomed in and he showed us… the danger that roadway salt could pose to our cars. Rust! he exclaimed! Rust could eat away at your car! Beware!

Oh, and be sure to wash your car regularly in the winter. With that undercarriage setting.

I was so dumbfounded I think I actually watched the rest of the news broadcast. My last local news broadcast.

So. What drove you from local news?