Change is in the wind. No, no mid-life crisis, but I have been engaging in a wee bit of introspection these past few days. My life ain’t what I want it to be, and I’m the person best suited to changing that.

On the job front, I’ve been searching for a job for about eight months now, and have sent out lots of letters, had a few interviews, and even withdrawn from one search (still a good idea: seven months later they still haven’t found a sucker to take the job). I have a couple of irons in the fire at the moment, and a couple of prospects possibly on the horizon. It has been a bit depressing, but I do still believe it’s not me, it’s them. That is, the jobs that have been open haven’t been up my alley, though I’ve still applied for many of them. So, I’m okay there.

To hedge that bet, however, I’ve spent these last eight months sorta kinda trying to work freelance web design. I set up a business site, set up a bank account, did some soliciting, and while I got some nibbles, I’ve had no bites. I also started blogging in earnest, building my personal brand, and dipping my toes into a couple of niche markets (shopping blog, television blog, sports blog, etc.). And while the personal blog has been pretty successful, the other avenues haven’t. And it takes a lot of time. Not rewarding + a lot of time = unhappiness.

And personally, I’m getting fat(ter), I’m losing my temper more often, I’m ignoring my dog (those of you who know me may be most shocked by that admission), I haven’t made any friends here (and we are well past the one-year mark)…

It all adds up to a little bit of depressing, and a lot o’ bit of frustration, because I still think I’m better at these things than my success (or lack thereof) indicates.

So. I’ve been thinking. And I have come back to the simplest of principles. Keep it simple, stupid.

So. I’m going to pare back the online ventures to just two: my personal brand site, and my design site. All the niche blogging is going to get rolled back into the personal site, which will make it more eclectic even than it is now (which is a whole ‘nother issue). I am actually greatly relieved to have just two work sites to think about: in just the past day, since I’ve been beta testing this idea in my head, I feel more relaxed and much skippier.

I’ll keep looking for work, I’m committing to walking the dog daily again (I know!), I’m going back to my awareness eating plan (which worked well until Thanksgiving last year), and hopefully I’ll find time for some of the things I have been missing: self, books, my lifestream, fun, friends, art.

It’s a good feeling to be doing something, even if it’s all in my head that the doing’s getting done.

By the way, the likelihood of the head trimming is going up.