I approach the deli counter at our local gro­cery store (which is, admit­tedly, in Nebraska), after hav­ing hunted in vain through their dis­play cases.

Me: “Excuse me, do you have any lox?”

Guy: “Uh.”

Me: “You know, lox, like for bagels.”

Guy: “Do you mean, um, like padlocks?”

Me: “Whu?”

Guy: “Um.”

Me: “No, like smoked salmon.”

Guy: “Huh, well, um,” he looks at his dis­plays hope­lessly, “Maybe you should try the meat counter,” he ges­tures over to the land of pork, beef, and chicken (and pale, under­nour­ished seafood).”

Me: “Okay, thanks.”

 

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